A lot of cancer survivors ask themselves or even their
pastor, therapist, or doctor; “why was I spared? Why did I live when others
just like me die?” I asked the same
question, wanting to know why I was spared when my mother in law died of her
cancer while I was fighting my own at the time going through chemo. My mother-in-law was a good woman, she had a
huge heart, loved God, a devote Christian, she saw the good in people, rarely
cursed and was just a good person. I too
am a Christian but a very flawed one, and when I compare myself to her I
consider her to have been a much better person and Christian. So other than the obvious reason that I am
younger and have 2 small children to raise who need me, why was I spared? Well I may never really know the reason why
until I am able to ask God myself, but I “know” what my heart and soul tell me,
what I believe with all of my body, what the Holy Spirit put on my heart the
day I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
God has a plan to use my journey with cancer for good, for
His glory and to help others.
I have struggled with this since I was diagnosed in 2011, as
much as I want to give 100% of myself to the task God has given me I am also
going through treatments, surgeries, recovery, side effects and tests for my
own battle with cancer. Not to mention I
have a family, I am a wife, mother, daughter, friend and I am trying to
maintain my life and my health. This
isn’t easy for someone who is stage 4 metastatic with two kids in elementary
school and a husband in retail.
"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus returns." (Philippians 1:6)
This verse helps to get me through especially when I am struggling with my survival guilt and questioning why was I spared.
We shouldn't get caught up and dwell on the why we are spared from whatever tragedy we survive. I know it is common to question, but we really shouldn't waste time on this. Enjoy the fact that you are still alive and move on with your mission in life. There is a reason why some die and others live, and we may not know that reason until we meet them in heaven. Find your purpose, find your "why" you were spared, there is obviously something you are meant to do that hasn't been accomplished yet. Share your story, share your struggle, there are those out there in the world who will be touched by it, who will be comforted by it. As survivors our duty is to share our story for those who aren't able to, we share ours and offer the hope, strength, and truth.
